Homesick.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve carried a constant feeling of homesickness every time I am away from my dwelling. While the feeling has manifested itself differently over the years, it’s always there. That gnawing discomfort that sits in the base of your stomach, tugging at your heart-strings with no mercy.

homesick heart

credit: myusearchblog.com

It all began one day when my Mom let me know I’d be starting kindergarten. At first it sounded like a great idea, but when I saw the bright yellow school bus chugging down my road, my stomach hit my kneecaps. I frantically ran into my backyard, giving my Mom and Aunt a mad-goose chase to grab me before the bus drove away. I thrashed about and yelled out, “I just need to spend time with my Barbies!” Life priorities, after all.

Much like a bad 1980’s comedy movie, when my Mom brought me to the bus my body mimicked an octopus, spreading arms and legs wildly in every direction to block my entrance through the door. After a solid ten-minute rodeo show, I was finally pushed on the bus and proceeded to sob the entire way to school.

school refusal

credit: google images

By elementary school, cunningness was needed. Tears and red cheeks were simply not going to get me out of being away from home. The school nurse quickly became my best friend when I began having daily stomach aches and “sickness”. Generally, I would make it through the first thirty minutes of school just fine. However, as the time ticked by my anxiety would grow and off to the nurse I would go. My Mom adjusted to the daily phone calls of, “Can you come pick up your daughter?And some days it even worked!

Middle school and high school were the lands of migraines. At first it was easy to complain of a migraine, then go home to take the medicine. But those tricky nurses were smarter than I assumed. Before long, they requested my Mom bring my migraine medicine to be kept at school. They would allow me to take it, lay down for thirty minutes, then head back to class. Once that happened, I waved goodbye to the migraine medicine and took off in my car mid-day throughout my entire senior year.

College held my interest for awhile, but within a short period time, I was begging to be picked up every Friday and dreading the return to the dormitories on Sunday night. Even though I had typical teenage feelings about my parents (“They suck! They don’t understand me!”), home was the only place I wanted to be.

go home on weekends

credit: hercampus.com

I wish I could say I’m cured. That I’m almost thirty years old and never have a homesick day in my life.

But that would all be one big fat lie. Sunday nights I still grab my stomach and give my boyfriend that terrified look. Monday mornings are pretty much my worst enemy, as I fight off tears and head to work. Monday through Friday I bumble around in a nauseated state attempting to think up ways to stay home (Flu? Fighting terrorists? Moving to a foreign country?)

crying in car

credit: veryaware.com

And let me put this out there for the record, it’s not about actually working. I love working and my job. I’ve worked since I was 14 years old and started working full-time years before my peers (and before I even needed to). I’ve always been a perfectionist in my work and at times, a workaholic. I love setting goals and reaching them, while also providing a perfect end product.

And it’s not about being out of my physical housing either. In fact, if I stay indoors for more than one day, cabin fever is knocking at my door with a smoker’s cough and an abrasive attitude. I’m not even shitting you.

In all honesty, the cause of my homesickness is completely unknown to me. It hovers in my life like the thickness of a humid summer night; I can’t shake it and it never goes away. No matter how much I turn a blind eye or attempt to think positive thoughts, it stays sitting and poking me with reminders that I am not where I want to be.

Homesickness, you’re a bitch.

184 responses to “Homesick.

  1. Alls I can say is that I’m sorry that has been your experience. I never made my son go to school if he didn’t want to, and the school was always told that if he ever wanted to come, all he had to do was call me and I’d be there in a flash. I can count on one hand the number of times he did call or not want to go, but I think that just knowing he didn’t “have to” made him feel very self confident. I wanted him to love learning, not think of it as a prison. (I’m a former teacher, too)

    • My Mom was so good about letting me stay home. I remember during certain grades the school saying I was reaching my limits of absent days. I can’t even count how many times she drove back and forth to that school… it makes me love her even more knowing how supportive and loving she was, even when I was being silly. Mom’s can definitely offer a wonderful warmth that instantly cures any bad day!

  2. This is fascinating! I never knew homesickness could linger like that.

    • Thanks Katie, I’m glad you liked it! I wish I could find a cure. It’s very odd living with a constant feeling of being anywhere but where you want to be. At least when I’m home, it subsides πŸ™‚

  3. I get that. I love to travel but no matter how long or short the trip is, I am always ready to be home.

    • Coming home from vacation is sometimes the greatest feeling in the world! Being back with your own bed and pillows, smells, and comfort… nothing better. I usually am pretty homesick the first night or two of a trip. By day four, I’m ready to head home.

  4. Pingback: Just Call Me Hypocritical. | The Siren's Tale

  5. I can so relate with this! Great post and Blog!

  6. Not as powerfully as you, but I have the same feelings sometimes. I used to feel it really that stomach sensation you describe. I used to dread Sunday nights and for whatever reason, mine felt worse when my dad dropped me off at school instead of my mom. I don’t know if I thought he was supposed to be the cool one and would take me to an arcade instead of school or what. I know exactly the feeling you’re describing though.

  7. Oh my god… this is me! I’m so glad someone else gets it. I, too, tried to flee the first day of kindergarten. My parents tried to tell me it was just like preschool, but then my dad made the mistake of saying “we’ll see you in six hours” (preschool was four hours). “SIX HOURS!?” I shrieked, and ran crying out of the classroom. (I laughed out loud at your “I need to spend time with my Barbies” — that’s a good reason!) I once made my dad come pick me up at college at 11 p.m. At 27, I’m still pretty much the same, just with less running and (slightly) less crying. My boyfriend gets the Sunday night look too. Can’t believe how much I can relate to this.

    • Barbies are ALWAYS a good reason to escape life. No doubt about it. I mean, honestly, who doesn’t wish they could strut around Barbie style, making demands of Ken and Gidgette (or whatever her sidekick’s name was – clearly not important enough to be remembered).

      Your response literally sounds like I am writing it – and we’re the same age! It really brings me comfort knowing there’s others out there that experience these weird sensations. I’m so glad you stumbled upon my blog! πŸ™‚

  8. I can definitely relate. I’m currently living overseas with my fiance for his job and I am always missing home, where everyone speaks my language and just the presence of being back home with friends and family. Good news is we’re heading home in less then 2 months and I cannot wait! Sorry to hear about your homesickness and try to make your current home feel as homey as your childhood home. Good luck!

    • Overseas? Bless your heart, my dear. That must be extremely hard to do (yet at the same time, I’m completely envious!) I hope the next two months soar by for you so you can be back at home in your area of comfort πŸ™‚ While it’s nowhere near the same, when I lived in a different state, all I wanted was familiar sounds, smells, and faces. I can relate that way.

  9. I love this post! It’s so interesting to me that people can feel this way, being as how I have never even felt the most subtle touch of homesickness. And the pictures are just great!

    • Thank you! I wish you could see the emerald green color I am turning with envy. Never a homesick moment? I think you just announced my next big life goal. I would love to be able to say that one day. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it!

  10. I’ve just recently moved to Chicago from Virginia, leaving all of my family behind, and although I’m not necessarily homesick yet, I definitely do have that same pit in my stomach telling me that this place isn’t yet my home. nice post!

    • Chicago to Virginia – what a change! I’ve never been to Chitown, but I have been to Virginia, and I can’t say in my mind the two are similar, haha. I hope that your transition goes smoothly and those feelings of homesickness slowly wash away πŸ™‚

  11. Barbies=home. Agreed. I have 4 dolls from my childhood and they sit in a place of honour amongst favourite books. They remind me of my home thousands of miles and 45 years of experiences away.

  12. We’re learning about this sort of stuff in my Abnormal Psychology course. Perhaps these migraines and feelings of anxiety are being caused by an anxiety disorder and a psychosomatic disorder with an underlying cause. You might want to consult with a therapist.

    • I have my degree in Psychology – trust me, if I needed therapy, I’d be sitting on the couch right now. I don’t have an anxiety disorder or psychosomatic symptoms. Some things are much less clinical than they appear, and are simply emotions we wish we didn’t have to face as humans.

  13. I know exactly how this feels, Homesickness still lingers around me everyday. πŸ™‚

  14. I totally understand what you have described and can relate to how you feel……….just keep on keeping on….x

  15. I am a mom with a daughter in college. She was just home for spring break and I am again a empty nester. I am homesick for her and can’t wait for her to return!

    • Aww, I bet! Being away from your kids (or kids being away from their parents) can be hard. Social media is nice, but it doesn’t match a hug or a comforting presence. I hope you get to see your daughter again soon! The summer is almost here πŸ™‚

  16. I’m from Texas and I live in LA now.(actor) And I constantly go through the same thing. It’s a never ending cyle…when I’m here,I want to be there,when I’m there I want to be here. I will say though that living for each moment,each day, really helps you feel less anxious,or less…whatever that hovering feeling is.

  17. I wasn’t a fan of school but nor did I skip that often. I can’t imagine what you went through because I am always trying to escape from home.

    • I constantly say (one of) my dream lives would be to be a stay-at-home mom. I could be around my comfort all day long and not worry about leaving at the crack of dawn every morning for work. Although… being a published author sounds like an amazing dream life too. At least in that scenario I could pick where “home” was or travel for inspiration.

  18. They were right about featuring this post on Freshly Pressed!

  19. Really very nice article.

    Thanks

  20. Great post. As a person who’s lived in four different countries already (I clock in just above twenty, lol) I have a strong streak of displacement, and homesickness. More emotional than physical though. Your’s sounds almost crippling! Are you sure it’s not some form of agoraphobia? Just wondering!

    Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! =)

    • Wow, four countries in your early 20’s? I can only imagine the amazing things you’ve seen in your life.

      And as far as my homesickness, it’s not crippling in the least. It’s kind of like someone who swears like a sailor, but knows not to at work. It’s the same for me – once I’m at work, I’m fine. I don’t clock-watch or bite my nails till the day is done. Would I rather be home? Of course. But I’m completely fine where I’m at.

      I hope it doesn’t come off to a lot of readers like I’m this hermit that never leaves the house, haha. It was meant to be a much more comical post about this odd emotion that hangs out uninvited.

      • Oh lol yea I got that undercurrent, but it just a thought I had. I tend to spout all clinical and blah blah, sowwy. =P

        Also, love the blog’s name. *applause* =)

        • Oh I love clinical talk! I have a degree in Psychology and worked in mental health for 8 years. I’ve self analyzed this homesick feeling from every angle, haha. I appreciate your thought-provoking question! I love looking through the clinical scope to look at any emotion.

  21. Glad that you story has been selected for Freshly Pressed. Thanks for sharing it πŸ™‚

  22. rebeccaalice14

    I suffer from something similar…I’ve not been a big girl about it though and am spending the last 3 months of University living at home. Horrible feeling.

    • I’m sorry to hear that 😦 It’s hard to constantly want to be somewhere else. Honestly, if you’re happier at home – who is it hurting? Some people want to act like being in your comfort zone is this insane, bizarre action. It’s not – absolutely every human being has a comfort zone and remains in it for some period of time. Best of luck to you!

  23. I often experience a similar emotion when disconnected from my children. In their absence there is a foreignness amid the familiar that makes me anxious for the reassurance of their company.

    • I’m sure they love time with you as much as you love time with them! Everyone’s comfort zone presents itself differently, and we all want to have some bits of comfort spread throughout our lives. Nothing wrong with that! πŸ™‚

  24. gulshansyedmohamed

    i can write a dito to you about homesickness, i hate to accepet it but it haunts every now and then, specially when dumped. Home is the only place worth this sickness

    • I am so glad this post got Freshly Pressed… I am amazed by how many readers have said they have the same feeling! It’s good to know there’s other people out there daydreaming about the place they’d rather be.

  25. Interesting post. I work at home alone all day, (as a writer), and have for seven years, so I don’t get much chance to miss it! Yesterday I drove 90 minutes each way to do interviews for a story, and enjoyed the novelty of getting out — a restaurant meal! wearing a dress and make-up! — but your post makes me more appreciate that I am home and it’s cosy and mine and has fresh flowers in it, and it is a comforting place to be, isn’t it?

    Not many posts are this thought-provoking. Congrats and on the FP thing, too!

    • You literally have my dream job. Want to switch? πŸ™‚ I’m sure hellish morning commutes sound especially enticing.

      I can totally understand where you’re coming from though. I know someday I will reach my goal of having a work-from-home job, and there will be many stir-crazy days! I try to remind myself the grass is not always greener on the other side, but ooohwee does it look beautiful from here!

  26. Wow! Homesickness hit me hard at Christmas. My first Christmas living as an expat in Dominican Republic away from my daughters. For three weeks prior, I even missed the smell and sounds of winter snow. It didn’t get any better and the pangs are always there. We’ve moved on to separate lives. For me, is it homesickness, or is it more empty nest? I truly don’t know.

    • It’s funny that when we’re in a state of homesickness, our images and thoughts about the things we are missing are magnetized (for the good and bad). It sounds like you’ve been on quite the journey and I wish you peace and tranquility. It’s hard having that feeling and not knowing how to fix it.

      • It’s the same feeling as the one you have in a room filled with a thousand people where you feel soooooooo alone. There is no fixing, only accepting and working with what you have to work with.

        Thanx hun!

  27. Awww. I know how this totally feels. I think, it was when I was a senior in college that I’ve finally realized and accepted that the feeling of homesickness will never go away from me. I’ve been living away from home for almost a decade now and so far, my realization’s right. However, there’s this tiny flicker of hope of something that will make it go away, which is being able to build a new home of our own. Well, I don’t know. Everything’s such a blur still. Anyway, just wanted to say nice post and thanks for sharing. Glad to know I’m not alone in this. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for the great feedback πŸ™‚ I completely know what you mean. There have been times when I’m home, in my literal home, and I feel homesick. How does one even begin to figure that out? I always thought once I met my soulmate, that longing would go away. And it has definitely lessened since I met him. But still, it’s always there and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one equally confused by this emotion!

  28. I love this. It’s so honest.
    At least you recognise and admit to your homesickness.
    I know for myself, anytime I’ve felt homesick, I have denied and denied it.

    It’s quite admirable that you haven’t allowed it to hold you back and not try and become your own person!

    • Thanks for the feedback! To me, it’s normal. You know? I suppose it’s like anything. For example, I watch people Monday-Friday during the morning commute scream at someone on the other end of their cell phone. For them, that’s normal. For me, that’s insanity. It’s all in the eye of the beholder πŸ™‚ Thanks for such a wonderful response!

  29. I kind of imagine you becoming a hermit cat lady. πŸ™‚ Ha! Just kidding. You may just be a home-body. If you get cabin fever, then you aren’t afraid of the world, you just like your own space. I think everyone gets a home-sickness to an extent. I mean, who doesn’t love their own, private space? Just make sure you own under 3 cats at all times, if you look around and count 4….worry….

    • A hermit cat lady? Hmm. Well for one, I’m pretty sure my guy would have strong objections to that… especially since we want to live overseas and travel many countries. So, fret not – no hermiting or cat hoarding here.

      I definitely know it’s not a fear of the world – I love travelling and I’ve lived hundreds of miles away from everyone I know. I think it’s more the fact that I’m constantly surrounded – by students at work, by neighbors at home, people all the time. It’s hard to have a true quiet alone moment, and that’s what I’m probably really homesick for.

      Thanks for the zany feedback!

  30. I went to college halfway across the country from my home. Going home for the weekend was sadly never an option.

  31. Right now the province where I live (oil fields, ranchland, Canadian colder wintery version of Texas: Alberta), doesn’t speak home to my soul. It’s so not me. And I’ve lived in Vancouver BC for past 8 yrs. Prior to that, Ontario. I miss both British Columbia and Ontario. My birth family is 3,500 km. away from me. However if I felt homesick like you all the time, that would not be a good sign: then I should leave Canada. And I don’t want to because I was born in the country where I am now.

    Just a small point: My parents immigrated to Canada in their 20’s. It was each good-bye to their parents….FOREVER. Their parents died in China during the next few decades.

    Your homesickness…can’t compare to an immigrant who cannot speak English or the language of their adopted country.

    And my mother gave birth in Canada to me (her lst child) not knowing English and with no family member of hers, except for my father.

    • I’ve thought about moving to a state/country that feels more “me”. And about five years ago I did just that. I didn’t like the new state very much and ended up returning to my home state, which made my homesickness (at that time) much better.

      As I grow older, when I feel homesick it’s for different reasons – it’s not all just missing being literally at home. I suppose it’s hard to truly explain unless a person has experienced that wanderlust and longing themselves.

      I don’t think my homesickness can compare to an immigrant’s journey in a new country – nor did anywhere in my post even begin to attempt to compare my one, personal emotion to anything.

  32. So “homesickness” can be more just feeling the vibes of a place/location is not quite in synch with a person.

  33. I know just what you mean, I think. For me, it was worse in childhood. That week at camp I wanted so much or the neighbor girl’s sleepover? Both produced considerable angst once they became real. Even now there are times when I struggle to be ‘present’ for events That previously interested me.

    • Oh in childhood, it was the pits. My adult homesick emotion doesn’t even come close to childhood! I don’t think my boss would be too fond of me if I walked around work crying for my Mom all day, haha.

  34. I totally understand these feelings. I was at boarding school from around the age of 11. Hated it. It was about a 2 hour drive away. My father used to take me. There was a certain bridge about halfway that I would associate with the school. My tummy would go berserk and I would cry uncontrollably. My father used to try to avoid this bridge, but it was not always possible. I went back years later to have a look at the school. Amazing that, even after all that time, the bridge and the school had the same negative impact; my adult tummy knew exactly where I was!

    • It’s funny the neutral items we tie such important emotions to. For me, the school bus, for you, the bridge. In and of themselves, a bridge and bus have no negative connotations, but suddenly because of an emotion we felt when in sight of bus/bridge, they behold huge meaning. This is exactly why I love Psychology and human emotions, we’re all so complex!

  35. Reblogged this on Lindsay McLoughlin and commented:
    This is a very thought provoking post. I could totally relate to the author’s feelings. I was at boarding school from around the age of 11. Hated it. It was about a 2 hour drive away. My father used to take me. There was a certain bridge about halfway that I would associate with the school. My tummy would go berserk and I would cry uncontrollably. My father used to try to avoid this bridge, but it was not always possible. I went back years later to have a look at the school. Amazing that, even after all that time, the bridge and the school had the same negative impact; my adult tummy knew exactly where I was!

  36. Yes. Every part of this is the exact same for me. I don’t think I ever saw an afternoon of school during my primary school years and was always late and leaving early for high school. Now I do uni online! haha. And ahh the work tears…. Oh I know them so well.

    • Every time someone says they know how I feel, I feel a little better πŸ™‚ When I originally wrote this post I was somewhat hesitant because I knew some people would misunderstand and label me as an anxious, agoraphobic mess. Imagine my surprise when this post got chosen for Freshly Pressed – and my reason for hesitance proved true. There have been a couple of negative comments, but overall – most comments have been like yours, supportive and understanding! Thank you πŸ™‚

  37. I like the honesty with which your homesickness is portrayed!

  38. Oh my god, THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who ever felt like this.

    • If you read through the comments you’ll see, apparently there are a ton of us homesick folk out there! Thanks to the blogosphere and Freshly Pressed for bringing it all together, haha.

  39. great post!lovely pics. that made me laugh but hey you can still cdeal with with

  40. Anuvrat Bhansali

    Brilliant articulation. We all have that one issue, for which there’s no reason, no cure.

  41. I am feeling so homesick right now too. Usually I am not, butno I can’t wait to finish my experience as Erasmus/Visitor student… I guess I will be one of the few ones to leave in tears. Of joy.

  42. I’ve been homesick all my life – and you know what’s funny? I lived as an ex-pat for years, have moved at least 10 times. I’ve lived all over the US. I love my work. I love working. I simultaneously look forward to and utterly dread business trips and any trip that takes me away from my husband and kids. I suppose with the semi-nomadic life I ended up living, they’re my home now. Thanks for the wonderful piece.

    • Ahh, so you know the mix of the good feelings and the bad feelings. That’s how a lot of scenarios are. ‘Oooh, I’d love to spend the day at that conference…. ugh, I don’t want to be gone all day long, I just want to be home’. I usually end up enjoying myself after it’s all said and done, but I’m content to be back where I want to be. Thanks for sharing your experience πŸ™‚

  43. Has the home you are sick for changed then? When you moved in with your boyfriend (or him with you) did the new address become the one you yearned for?

    Perhaps its not all negative. You have an ability to love where you are. Being able to settle and be happy in one place is a good thing.

    Nice article, thought provoking and well written.

    • I’m homesick for different things over the years. When I was younger, I was always homesick for my Mom. When I moved out of state, I was homesick for my old life and my comfort zone. And now, I get homesick for my home and my boyfriend when I’m away. It’s definitely not a completely negative emotion – I just am truly, truly happy in my life and love being at home to enjoy it πŸ™‚

  44. Sometimes, one is in search of lingering memories of joy. That’s what I consider homesickness to be. I’d try and revel in it, but I’m sure it is not that easy.
    Boy x

    • That’s a beautiful perspective of homesickness. I think I’ll tuck that in my back pocket to remember it that way. It’s true – I’m so joyful when I’m at home with my boyfriend and pets. No wonder I always miss it when I’m away.

  45. I’m homesick even when I’m home. No…that’s not what I meant. I’m home sick ESPECIALLY when I’m home, because I know eventually I have to leave it for various reasons (ugh, having a job…)
    Great post! πŸ™‚

    • Exactly! Adulthood is an endless list of “have to” situations. What I really want to do is stay at home, hang out, do what I love. What I have to do is work full time, errands, networking, conferences, etc.

  46. May I recommend staging a break in while you’re at work by a local thug. Have him break a rear window, force his way through a door frame, and pull out several drawers overturning their contents. It would help if you could have something go missing, perhaps your grandmother’s wedding ring, and saved letters from your first boyfriend.If this doesn’t cure your homesickness, old newspaper clippings of a mass murder or murder/suicide that took place in your residence may help. Congratulations on being “Freshly Pressed.”

  47. Great post.

    As a high-school senior from Michigan attending the University of Missouri next fall in pursuit of a degree in journalism, and not knowing a single soul going at the school, I fear that the ache of homesickness may become an all too real variable in my college experience. Any advice to keep the homesickness away? An eleven hour drive on the weekends doesn’t seem to be the most economic, nor convenient trip back home in the event of a home-sick relapse…

    • When you’re a freshman (from my own experience and from talking to students every day because I work at a college), the first few weeks are the hardest. It takes a little bit to get situated, comfortable, and find your groove. But you will! And once you do, it’s pretty much smooth sailing. On a bad day or after a shitty experience with something, it’s natural to think ‘Ugh, I just wish I were back home’. But more often than not you’ll be in class or having fun. If you get homesick at school, I’d say the following things would help:

      – Have pictures of family, friends, or places from home that make you happy
      – Don’t just call/text people back home that are important to you, drop a letter every now and again… it’s really fun to get a return card/letter in your campus mail!
      – When you’re feeling homesick at night, plan your next visit with your family or to the place back home that you enjoy… imagine different things you’ll do or talk about
      – Talk to friends at school that have also voiced missing home

      I wouldn’t worry too much… you’ll have an amazing time at college πŸ™‚ The years fly by and before you know it, you’re looking back and wishing you could do it all over again!

  48. Wow that blog brought back a few feelings and memories when I was a little tacker heading to kindergarten for them first time… I vividly remember holding onto the hall stand for dear life as my poor mum was tugging at my feet convincing me that kindergarten would be good fun! Lets just say I made it there with a weary mum and a lot of tears.. From me. But now being a parent myself, I’m sure mum had a few. As much as I did when I first took my daughter to nursery. But strangely enough I don’t get homesick nowadays. Thankfully! It must be terrible to feel that way weekly. Best, Sam

    • It’s definitely uncomfortable at times, but some days/weeks are better than others! If the weekend goes by especially quickly, I’ll feel more homesick on Monday because I feel like I didn’t get enough “home time”. It’s such a silly emotion, it makes me laugh at myself more often than not πŸ™‚

  49. Thanks so much for posting this blog! I had no idea how much this affects adults. I have been so wrong in assuming that only children/adolescents suffer from this. I can remember being in elementary school and pulling the stomach ache thing too because I simply wanted to hang out at home with my mom. I didn’t really grow out of that until about 2nd grade when I met my best friend, Patty.

    I really hope you find some comfort somehow, it makes me sad just reading this.

    • During the younger years, a main motivating factor for being homesick was my Mom. My Mom was the bee’s knee’s and I just wanted to spend a lot of time with her. She worked afternoons into late evenings, so after school I didn’t see her much. I hated waiting for the weekends to have fun, so I would try to have her pick me up in the daytime so I could relax, have fun, and spend time with my awesome Mom.

      And please don’t be sad by reading this! I am an extremely happy gal, I just wish I had more time at home. I work too much and have for too long, which always makes me miss home. Think of it as a silly emotion, and not so much a sad situation πŸ™‚

  50. I’m no expert by any means, but it sounds like an anxiety disorder of some type–that goes right along with perfectionism and a tendency to overwork. Have you ever seen a therapist for it?

    It really does not sound like fun. Take care.

    • This ‘anxiety disorder’ comment has come up more than once. Yes, I have seen a therapist at different times in my life for different situations I was going through – like most adults. I have a degree in Psychology and worked in mental health as a Clinical Case Manager for eight years. I have asked both therapists and my PCPs about the homesickness, and they have all said it’s completely normal. If you are a creature of comfort, enjoy being home, and work a lot of hours away from the home… you’re going to be homesick from time to time.

      I spend a lot of my time away from my home because I work a lot. If I didn’t get homesick and miss my home, I think something would clearly be lacking in my personal life.

      It’s not a great feeling, but it’s also not terrible. It’s just a desire to be back at home where I’m comfortable, am with the person I love, and can do what I want.

      • It sounds like you would be much more knowledgeable about this than myself, but I wonder if you expressed the extent of the homesickness. Your post does not describe feeling homesick from time to time. It describes a great sorrow whenever you have to leave your home, even when you know you are returning in the evening. It does sound terrible.

        Take care.

        • No great sorrow mentioned — just an uncomfortable feeling because I’m not where I want to be more often than not.

          You take care.

          • It sounds like we read two different posts. The one I read describes intense distress. You read one that describes mild discomfort. Which is it? I’m confused.

            “Sunday nights I still grab my stomach and give my boyfriend that terrified look. Monday mornings are pretty much my worst enemy, as I fight off tears and head to work. Monday through Friday I bumble around in a nauseated state attempting to think up ways to stay home (Flu? Fighting terrorists? Moving to a foreign country?)”

            I have not felt that degree of anxiety about leaving anywhere since I was 2 years old–and I love being home too.

            • First, you read one tiny post on my blog that has almost 100 posts. I don’t think it’s a fair assumption to think I’m crippled with an emotion.

              Second, as seen in all of my posts, I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Which is why I gave the examples to stay home as silly, playful ideas.

              I apologize if you read so far into my post that you felt some sort of personal concern. It’s really not on that level – I live a very busy, active life where I am away from home more often than not… causing me to wish I was home more.

  51. I really like your story, it’s very well written! πŸ˜€ I get homesick from time to time too.

  52. It sounds like home was a nice place. Mine wasn’t too bad, but it was my childhood fantasy to run away. When I left home I never missed it. And I did live out my fantasy when I was an adult by driving across country on my own twice. I don’t have anyone who is free enough to just drop everything and go away for an adventure, like I am. and I was on the road for months and never got tired of driving. and was moved to tears every day by the vast ever changing beauty of our country. Friends, don’t be afraid of your freedom !!

    • It’s funny how different human experiences are. For me growing up, home was a safe sanctuary where I could always be happy, do what I want, and spend time with my amazing family. For others and my own boyfriend, home was a place to escape and run from. It’s interesting how different childhood experiences can foster different adult emotions.

  53. “As far back as I can remember, I’ve carried a constant feeling of homesickness every time I am away from my dwelling. While the feeling has manifested itself differently over the years, it’s always there. ” – I so identify with this feeling. Even though it’s not very distinct, I feel the same way, too. And, right now, sitting at work, I’ve begun missing home so badly, after reading your post. Great post! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

  54. I was similar until I decided it is time to let go and moved away to another country. Since them I’ve become very close with my family. Your post is very honest… I loved reading it.

  55. While I’ve never experienced homesickness the way you have, I have long carried an attachment to many of the communities where I’ve lived. In fact, moving across the country, it often seemed I was trailing a long rubber band stretched from the old home to the new. Slowly, month by month, it seemed to be crawling closer to me. Maybe it was just a kind of intense loyalty, but the uprooting has always been both exciting and painful. Maybe I was simply looking for home, or at least something closer to an ideal I’d never experienced fully, no matter how I tried.
    Still, I’m surprised by how few of my former locales I’ve revisited in the ensuing four decades, except through the photos, maps, my writings, and letters.
    What I’ve always needed, though, was a “base camp,” somewhere I could return safely between adventures and wanderings. Now, more than ever, I’m finding.

    • I can completely understand missing communities you once were a part of or lived in. We all collect moments throughout our lives – some more prominent than others. If we’re seeking happiness, and our memories of happiness are attached to a home or community, it makes perfect sense why we long for that πŸ™‚

  56. Pingback: Homesick | Inspired Vision

  57. i know what you mean…have been away from home since almost a decade and a half and old enough but i still feel the tingle in my stomach when i have to leave home…though i admit, when am there, i want to go away too…so dont know if i like the feeling of being homesick so much more than being home
    a very well articulated article…could relate to so much of it…from being sick before school top crying out before the boyfriend on sunday nights…lovely
    congratulations!!

    • Thank you so much for the great feedback! After seeing all the responses to this post, it seems all of us experience homesickness in one way or another, over different reasons and in different ways. But it’s still there in all of us!

  58. That is a highly interesting bitch you have described, humorous, yet palpably true. To me, who gets kicked in the back every few years to far off tracts of land on account of mandatory ‘transfers’ at work, home has ceased to have a meaning. I have a village though, where I’d spent certain parts of my childhood and mercifully, the vagabond in me can still recognise the moon over there. How sweet of WP to freshly-pressing your blog. Great read.

    • Thank you very much, I’m very happy to have been Freshly Pressed. It’s a nice recognition and way to meet new bloggers πŸ™‚ Glad to hear you have your own piece of home to think back to!

  59. This is amazing. I never thought that homesickness could affect someone like this. Definitely an eye opener for me. Makes me want to learn and read more about this. Good Luck!

    • Thanks! If you scroll through the comments, you’ll see there are many, many people that feel this way. There’s probably research and information on what this emotion is and why it’s pronounced in some people more than others.

  60. Pingback: What It Means to be Freshly Pressed. | The Siren's Tale

  61. Fascinating and beautifully written. It brought me back to my own homesickness as a kid during sleepovers, at the one and only sleep-away camp I went to, at college (I transferred closer to home), and on vacation trips (more fun, I find, to go with a group). These days, as I’m approaching 70, homesickness rears its head yet again when I think of dying. I immediately become homesick in advance for all the family and friends I will miss–which is irrational because I don’t believe in an afterlife in any form. (More on this on my blog.) But I certainly believe in the persistence of homesickness, especially after reading about yours.

  62. trailerdreamer

    Truly, there is nothing like being home. I remember having these feelings in college and I know I was the super homesick type when I was a kid. I cried at sleepovers. I get those twinges too sometimes, living so far away from my family, even though I am very happy where I am with my husband and daughter. This is a great post!

    • Thank you very much! I worry more about people who DON’T want to be home. What’s missing there if you never want to be there? I know what’s missing when I’m not at home: comfort, enjoyment, my significant other, pajamas, coffee/tea time, etc.

      Maybe all of the homesick people in the world are more right on about these feelings than originally imagined!

  63. I suffer from homesickness sometimes too and I wonder if you have ever tried this: is there any way you can make your workplace a little bit your home? I used to take little things to work that would make it feel more like ‘my place’, like my favorite kind of tea, my own mug, a picture. It might make it a little less hard to leave home and go to work.

    • I love these ideas! I just started a new job in January and I definitely have not made it “my own space”. It’s leftovers of the previous person and the current assistant. It’s not warm or homelike in any way. They are doing some renovations this week and next, but once things are settled – I’m going to try this πŸ™‚ I can’t wait to bring little pieces of home to work! Too bad they won’t let me bring my dog.

  64. Sounds like anxiety related to transistions. This mimics that of seperation anxiety. I know this sounds nuts but were you adopted or ever seperated from your caregivers early in life? My kids experience similar problems and suffer from Reactive Attachement Disorder. PTSD is too blame and found EMDR therapy is wonderful for this. Anyways, thanks for posting as it gives me a view as to what challanges my kids may face later.

    • I was not adopted nor was I separated from my caregivers. I grew up with amazing parents — probably the reason for wanting to be home so often. Now in adulthood, I have a wonderful significant other and pets — more reasons to want to be home.

      The post is much less clinical than some readers are perceiving. See my latest post ‘What It Means to be Freshly Pressed’ to understand more.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  65. I totally understand. I experienced a severe form of homesickness when I lived away from my family and friends, in the UK, for 16 years. It was a chronic dull ache that never went away and I cried for most holidays and special occasions. I’m back home now and being homesick to such an extent has taught me about true appreciation like nothing else ever has. I like going out, but my home is precious to me because I know what it was like to live outside of my comfort zone for so long. I tend to stay home more than the average person because I feel like that’s what I need right now ~ to be where I feel most secure and comforted.

    Thanks for your post. I am pleased to “meet” you. πŸ™‚

  66. This blog makes me giggle! I can relate so well with the feelings expressed in this writing. I remember the first day my parents dropped me off at pre-school, which was right next door to my mom’s work. I would find myself staring off out the window, where I could see my mom’s car parked. I hated when my parents would force me to go and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change their minds. As soon as middle school and high school arrived, I sat in class and thought of every way possible to leave. I always had the typical thought of ” when will I ever use this?” running through. Finally I am in college and find myself relating to things that I learned in high school. I continue to have some days where I wish my family lived a mile down the road just so I could live with them but I’ve realized that it is time to grow up and no matter where I am my family is a call away to settle my sometimes unhappy thoughts.

  67. I’m in college now and I haven’t had a single person express the same desire to be home as I have. Every weekend, every day, I miss my home. Not that college isn’t a fun place to be- it is. I don’t quite understand the feeling myself and it’s comforting to know you’ve had the same unsettling, confusing feelings. I too have the anxiety when the end of a week-long, or month-long break comes around, forcing me to drive the five hours back to a place that isn’t home to me. This post is so eye opening. Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it.

    • I remember being in college and others not saying much about being homesick. It wasn’t until I had some one-on-one time with friends, away from the parties, dorm life, and chaos — that others also confessed to missing home. I am so glad you enjoyed my post… thank you for stopping by! Here’s hoping your homesickness quiets itself through your college experience πŸ™‚

  68. Pingback: Homesick. | haylentorres

  69. I have had the same problem since I can remember. I went to a β€œeducational” day care since I could walk because my parents were always working and they were teen parents as well. Being away from home at a young age was uncomfortable and it was a torment to have to be somewhere other than home. I constantly remember the crying sessions I had alone in the corner while all the kids played and laughed. From then until now I have not changed my point of view about homesickness…it sucks. I am currently five hours away from my parents now due to college and I have no chance to go back home because I recently got a job to help my parents pay for my school. It crushes me to think about my warm bed, my cuddling puppy, my family and that one place I can alway step in and call home. I am glad to know that there are other people who strongly disklike homesickness like I do.

    • It’s definitely hard being away from what you love… especially in your situation where you have a 5 hour commute to get back to comfort. Is there anything you can bring with you from home to remind you of your puppy, family, warm bed, etc? I hope things get quieter for you soon!

  70. Reblogged this on Ariel + Grace and commented:
    There are a lot of things that hold me back from reaching my full potential and homesickness is definitely one of them. I suffer from homesickness a lot of the time and to some people this may make me sound like a baby but I’m not homesick for just home it’s more than that. I feel homesick for the past and for the future, for comfort and for people and places I may not ever be able to meet or see.

  71. Pingback: Homesick. | pcychotits's Blog

  72. I would cry every morning when I woke up because of school and I still do, though I dont go to school anymore.

  73. omg… can i just say this is something i’ve been dealing with my entire life? i thought i was just weird. now that i’ve gotten married and live in a new house, whenever i go anywhere else, i long for that new house… because it’s mine. where my things are, my bed, my dogs… there’s just something so comforting about that. love your blog though! keep it up!

    • If you scroll through all the comments you will quickly see – you’re not alone at all! I was very surprised to see how many others feel the same way I do. It’s comforting to know there’s other people out there, dreading the hours upon hours spent away from where you want to be. Thanks for the great compliments!

  74. I remember being sent to school even in mild fever with a medicine in my skirt pocket. In 6th grade I was sent to boarding ans since then till the next 24 years of my life I have visited my folks every weekend. Basically, I have lived in and out of my home for the first quarter of my life. And now, I am in Canada and barely do facetime with my family over the weekends but I miss them a lot.
    The security blanket that home provides is simply incomparable to any other place in this world.
    I miss mom now:( after reading your blog.

  75. you have a very evocative and interesting style, thanks for the great post, i think a lot of people will have experienced something from reading this πŸ™‚

  76. This is a great post. πŸ™‚ I was just curious, is the homesickness for your actual house, or the people there, or familiarity etc.? This is really interesting, though no doubt sucks for you!!

  77. I too have had homesickness, though it’s usually quickly cured…sometimes, there’s simply no place like ‘home’…(: great pics!

  78. Maybe we should start a homesick club..because I have had that feeling since I was four. I would cry my eyes out when my grandma dropped me off for school and I would be afraid she wasn’t coming back. It has gotten better but I still have those feelings creep up on me sometimes. I am glad i’ve found someone who feels the same way I do. Its hard to explain to other people.
    Thinking of my favorite things makes me happy (sound of music anyone?) I know it sounds silly but when I feel homesick and sad I remember all the “good old days”. I also pray.

  79. I’m from the UK… being homesick here is one thing where you can take off in a car and be anywhere within 7 hours… but US homesickness must be something else. Kudos to all you US homesick-ers!

  80. I can completely relate to this, I went away to boarding school at the age of 11 and would call my parents every day begging to come home. Even now at the age of 29 when I leave for work in the morning my heart sinks at the prospect of leaving my home!

  81. Pingback: My Homepage

  82. Reblogged this on aspen54 and commented:
    I sympathize and support!

  83. Pingback: The Most Magical Place on Earth. | The Siren's Tale

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  87. Reblogged this on Notes from the Trail and commented:
    This popular post takes a new angle on homesickness. Enjoy!

  88. Pingback: Getting in the Spirit. | The Siren's Tale

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  90. Pingback: Freshly Pressed, Round 2. | The Siren's Tale

  91. Reblogged this on Chic & Über Unique and commented:
    This blog post kind of inspired me to go in a different direction for my next entry. I’m reblogging this to give you a little hint on what’s to come.
    Enjoy πŸ™‚

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